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Showing posts from June, 2014
Suddenly miss my grandma alot. It's been about two months since she passed away. I don't want to say that I regret taking her for granted. There's no space in life for regrets, but I do, I really do. How I wish I had taken more effort in the months leading up to those fateful events, to call her up more often, to drop by her house. It was always a case of there's always next week, next month, next year. Who would have thought that time would be so cruel and fleeting. And I, prone to my youthful tendencies of self-centredness, wanting only to enjoy life, to with friends, to neglect responsibilities. She died of a broken heart. I'll never forget the time she cried while on the phone with me. I was so so so worried. Life has been cruel to her. Through the wake I finally learnt the deep histories of the Gan (my grandfather) and Dai (my grandmother) families. My grandmother grew up a princess of a rich rich family, and never had to worry a day of her youth. She was edu
What is the life you (I) want? Forever I'll be torn between following my dreams and being the person my loved ones want me to be, so that they will be happy. Maybe that is a form of happiness too? But where is the meaning of life in that?

Run baby run

I feel the most alive after a good run. The last three months has really seen me becoming lazier and lazier, sleeping in and refusing to change out into running gear and go down for a run. I was really in tip top shape, running at least 5.5 clicks every day, 4 out of 7 days and the 5th day I would go out for an 8 click run. Lazing off has seen my stamina and determination disappear into thin air. It's true that running is a mental game. When you're out there running, how far, how fast and how hard you run not only depends on your stamina but how fiercely determined you are to complete a good run. Lose concentration and you'll just stop. Be 'in the zone' and running 10 kilometers can be a piece of cake. That fierce mental game, just hasn't been there recently. (Sadly, this has shown up everywhere including school as well. Oh wells, I have next year to buck the fuck up. ) Building up that mental game and stamina again after losing them is hard. But hey, I'